Six Lessons I’ve Learned as a Private Eye’s Wife

People sometimes ask what it’s like being married to a private investigator. The truth? It’s a mix of everyday life, unexpected detours, and more parking lot expertise than I ever expected to acquire. Over the years, I’ve picked up a few lessons worth sharing.

Always keep your go‑bag stocked. 

When you’re on a stakeout it doesn’t matter how hungry you are or how close your phone’s battery power is to zero. Snacks (the quiet kind), a portable charger, a good book, sunglasses, and something warm to cover up with are non-negotiables. A travel pillow doesn’t hurt either.

Never watch the subject’s car through binoculars while your husband is driving. 

It’s not that this is unsafe or unhelpful, it will, however, make you wish you’d dropped some anti-nausea medicine into that go-bag. Trust me, riding 30 miles at high speeds on a curvy road with a queasy stomach is a high price to pay for enthusiastic participation.

Be game for anything. 

Dinner plans may include slip-sliding down a steep hill in the dark to hike to a nearby hotel because, for some reason, the pizza man can’t deliver to a car in a deserted parking lot. Yes, flexibility must become your lifestyle.

Be ready with an alibi. 

Not because you’re doing anything wrong — but because you never know when a twenty-something will saunter up to you in a bar and want to know what two “people of such advanced age as yourselves” are doing in a high energy dance club at midnight.

Learn to identify cars the way birders identify birds.

“Silver Honda Accord, dented bumper, aftermarket tint.” It becomes second nature.

And finally, just accept that someone with a very large vehicle will always park directly between you and your subject.

You can be in an empty parking lot with miles of open space, and still — still — the person driving the biggest truck in the county will choose the spot right in front of you. It’s practically a law of nature.

Life with a private eye may not be as glamorous as portrayed on television — but it’s endlessly interesting. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade the experiences for anything.

Now it’s your turn — What’s a life lesson you learned in an unexpected place?